hoy...

I am so tired...
I have been reflecting on life and stuff.. ok not really
man it's this freaking heat it makes me think and it's so annoying

see I wrote this a while back:


The heat of the summer nights
what a perfect heat
It makes you mind wonder
It enters the deepest part of your unconscious mind
It makes your thoughts "perfect", or so to speak and that is why
The summer night is like a perfection of thought

Summer night, perfection of thought
What makes a thought perfect?
The simplicity of it, I would say
Knowing exactly what each thought means
Standing on it's own, it's own idea, it's own personality.
A perfect thought is that which needs no explanation
It's a tangible thought
You can feel it's presence and it real to you and all those in it

The heat of the summer night offers inspiration
It gives you perfect rationality
It makes the mind wonder about the past, present and future
It is the utmost inspirational thing
Simply perfect...



well.... not true.... really
ugh summer heat makes me stupid... trust me... I know what I'm saying

I want to see this

View my page on Ryan and Sean's NOT SO Excellent Adventure

sad, "rainy" do to speak, day

Have you ever had one of those "Rainy" days.
Well.. today was one of them
Those days where you just want to seat around and watch t.v until your head hurts
And then.. you want to fall asleep but you can't because your head hurts??

You know... sometimes you take so much and you keep it.
You store it away for one of your black days and the funny thing is .. sometimes you don't even know it's a black day.
You start feeling inspired.. decide to wear black clothes (first sign you IGNORE) and top of it with something white to hide the black.
You meet up with a friend who recently underwent a black day and ignore it.
You get home and you lock yourself up and watch t.v. Eat something far from real food , in my case a cup of noodles, and get to t.v.

Then you start remembering the old times.. the what if's.. that "if I could I would tell you that...," the imaginary phone calls or the acted out scenes.

Sure.. sounds a bit drastic doesn't it? well... sometimes that's just the way it is and when I say "you" I really mean "I"..

Pathetic?? yes.. Weird?? maybe not so much stupid? big YES!!

but what can I do?? you .. I mean... I gotta have one of these days once in a while you know.. where I can just sti around and watch t.v to repress my feelings which honestly feel like they should be coming from an old divorced woman not from a single 18 year old..


whatever... just gotta grin and bear it

these past few days,...

Have gone by really fast.
My hands are hurting at the moment because yesterday I started playing the drums for my church band so yeah that's pretty cool but also tiring. Which also means that I won't be singing or playing the keyboard any more... TO be honest I'm not exactly sad because the keyboard just stresses me out at times... I can never seem to hit the right note but the drums are different because all I have to do is have rhythm which being latina.. I should be able to have lol and other than that just un-coordinating my hands with my feet so that I can get it right... You know what they say.. practice makes perfect so that's just what Imma have to do.. practive.. practice and practice.

Talking about practice.. I gotta go rehearse for a dance for my youth group's anniversary... I'll tell you more abou it later.

Algo contigo

This song is perfect!! He send it to me today.. you know.. whenever we chat he sends me songs that he dedicates to me and well this is the latest one... It basically says that he wants to have "something with me" and he's tired of just being friends and.. seriously I am crushing hard although I don't want to fall in love which I see pretty hard seeing the kind of person I am.. but I can crush right? I mean.. I guess I'm still in love but I'm falling out of it and maybe soon I'll be completely out of love with.. yeah him.. anyways... for those spanish speakers here goes :

Martes... 9/16 2:37pm S.Cali time

Today is my buddy Matan's birthday... so yeah.. haven't seen him since we graduated and I guess that's kinda sad but that happens after High School I suppose?? anyways talked to him earlier but that's pretty much it.

I got an English essay due on Thursday which I do not want to write but I guess I must .. it is the first year of college after all... Well.. there's some pretty cool people in my class... Edwin is in there so at least I got someone to talk to .

Some guy asked me out to lunch after class but I had to get to work although I wound up not working after all. That's life huh.. but anyways the last thing I need is another guy getting at me.. I got enough. seriously

well.. that's that.